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01:49pm 06/06/2009
  One month today. I feel really lame that I'm about to go out and celebrate our one month anniversary. But ya know what? Fuck it. I'm happy. lol

<3		  
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05:36pm 29/05/2009
  So Brian and I have been together for almost a month and its amazing. We see each other almost everyday. We talk everyday. And I'm in love. I know that's really quick but I've had feelings for him for almost a year now and when it just feels right, does time really matter? I don't think it does.

I love him so much that I actually want to have a family. Like, me giving birth and the whole nine yards. I KNOW!!!

It scares me a little, but I am happy. Like, really really really really really really really really really really really really really happy.

:)		  
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02:32pm 06/05/2009
  I am extremely happy.

<3

And I know I'll be this way for a while :)		  
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11:01pm 26/10/2008
  let's talk about how when you left and moved back home you said that i was one of your dearest friends and that you didn't want to lose touch.

now let's talk about how you've come here for a visit 4 times and i only learned about the visits once you had gone back home. what the fuck is that about?

AND you hang out with the bitch that you complain to me about for an hour on the phone everytime we talk.

WHAT?!?!?!

I don't care that you missed my show cuz whatever. And I know we don't talk as much as we use to. But to just ignore that I'm even alive?!? what?!? And you aren't doing it to just me. Candice is being left out too. Except she got to actually see you because you both seemed to be at school at the same time.

I don't get it. The first couple of times I was like "Ok, maybe a lot of people are taking up his time and next time he'll call me like he said he would" NOPE.

Whatever.		  
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GREASE!!!!!!!!   
08:29am 26/09/2008
  ITS OPENING NIGHT OF GREASE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Come see the show!!

Or I will gut you like a fish!!!

Please :)		  
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Not a survey   
09:35pm 18/08/2008
  I have not updated in a while because my life is basically the same thing over and over and over.

I go to work. I bitch and complain about how I hate people, customers, the morons I work with then I go home and complain to my parents about how I hate my job. Then I eat and if it is a Sunday, Tuesday, or Thursday night, I go to rehearsal. If it is any other night, I'm probably looking over my script, going over music, listening to the music or sitting on facebook. At rehearsal I go, act, dance (and almost die), and yes, I even sing. I have a great time. Sometimes we go out afterwards to the usual spots then I go home, go to bed, and start all over again.

It's quite boring. I've hit a bit of a rut. And even though school would add some sort of a different factor, it'll just get tidious like everything else. I feel like I didn't even really get a vacation. I'm getting stressed because all of these different people want different things from me but they want it all at the same time. I almost sat down and cried at work today. It's just hard.

There have been some fun little things that have happened. Like, meeting new friends because of Grease. And Katelyn and I went to New York to see Eric in Hairspray. I also auditioned for Trinity, Gamm, and Perishable. I have a callback for Perishable coming up on the 26th. I've gone to the movies with a few friends which was always fun. But other than that, its been just gray. Boring. Regular.

I have developed feelings for someone though. It's been a while since that has really happened. He makes me laugh and we seem to just get along. Nothing will happen, if it happens, until after Grease is over. But I'm not sure we're on the same page with what we want to happen. I'm afraid he'll just want the sexual aspect while I have genuine feelings for him. That's always the way though. Girls usually think with their hearts and guys think with their dicks. I've been single for 2 years now. It's been almost that long since I've been "close" to someone. I use to just want to get "close" to someone but now, I feel like I want and am ready for more than that.

I don't know. We'll see how things work out. I just felt like complaining for a bit. Thanks for reading, if you even did.		  
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Because I can   
07:41pm 30/07/2008
  I'm kind of addicted to doing surveys lately...so deal with it

Has anyone told you lately that they would always be there for you?
- - YES




When you think about your first kiss, what does it remind you of?
- - HIGH SCHOOL




Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
- -SHE CAN BE A LITTLE CRAZY AT TIMES






Who was the last person to call you?
- - MY COUSIN GEORGE.




Are you missing anyone?
- - A FEW PEOPLE ACTUALLY




Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
- - MAYBE




What are your plans for this weekend?
- - I'M HOUSE SITTING, WORKING, DRINKING, AND REHEARSING


Kissed someone youd never seen prior to that in your life?
- -YUP




Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
- - DEPENDS ON THE PERSON AND HOW IT IS USED




Whats irritating you right now?
- - HEAT...OTHER THAN THAT...NOTHING




Are you listening to music right now?
- - I WAS LISTENING TO WICKED, THEN I DECIDED TO STOP




What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
- - TEXTED MARK, MIKE, AND BRIAN




First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
- - OH GOD I CAN'T REMEMBER




Do you have a best friend?
- - I HAVE SEVERAL




What were you doing 8 this morning?
- - WORKING *GAG*




Have you ever passed out?
- - I'VE COME PRETTY CLOSE TO IS




Do you fall for people easily?
- - DEPENDS ON TEMPERATURE, HOW MUCH I'VE HAD TO DRINK, HOW STRESSFUL MY DAY WAS




When is the last time you saw number 1 on your top friends?
- - I LIVE WITH HIM




Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
- - WE'LL PROBABLY END UP DOING IT AGAIN



How many clothes do you have in your closet?
- - I DON'T FEEL LIKE COUNTING




Right now do you want to kiss someone?
- - YES...BASTARD




Would you rather your partner have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?
- -EYES




Would you ever get a tattoo?
- - I HAVE 3 ALREADY




What's your mood?
- - BORED




Did you enjoy your weekend?
- - IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET




Do you like your first name?
- - ITS OK...A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE IT




Do you regret doing something this week?
- - NOT REGRET...JUST WISH I HAD WORKED UP THE COURAGE TO DO




Last bed you slept in?
- - MINE




Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
- - I HAVE SEVERAL GUY/GIRL FRIENDSHIPS LIKE THAT




Where'd you get the shirt you're wearing?
- - ITS MY MIDDLE SCHOOL MARCHING BAND SHIRT




Sunrise or Sunset?
- - SUNSET




What time did you go to bed last night?
- - AROUND 1 I THINK




Time you woke up?
- - 6:10




What movie is in your DVD player?
- - THE PRODUCERS




When's your birthday?
- - APRIL 4TH



Last thing that pissed you off?
- - WORK




Are you cocky?
- - NAH




Can you speak french?
- - FUCK NO




Have you ever been to Mexico?
- -YES




Do you make your bed daily?
--THERE'S NO POINT



What did you have for breakfast yesterday?
-- NOTHING




Your favorite tv show?
- - GOLDEN GIRLS




Is there a tv in your room?
- -ITS A DISNEY TV




How many piercings do you have?
- -JUST MY EARS




What do you think of Tom Cruise?
- -HE'S A HOBBIT THAT WILL ATTACK YOU IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR THEATRE FACTS




Last two numbers in your phone number?
- - 38




Who was the last person you called?
- - AUNT CAROL




Where is your family from?
- -RHODE ISLAND		  
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Feeling Better   
05:35pm 23/07/2008
  So after 48 hours of feeling like nothing, I've decided to try to move on.

It doesn't seem like that big of a deal that an ex of mine is getting married, and to ppl who don't know what we had I can understand.

When I found out, all the memories of us being together flooded back and I was trying to find the things that kept me from being that girl. We didn't break up cuz we hated each other, because someone cheated, or that we didn't feel the spark anymore. We were in love...but we needed a break for certain reasons and I thought we would eventually get back together.

I'm ok with it now. It just hurt more because of why we broke up and the fact that I've been single for 2 years now. I don't think I would have reacted as intensely if I actually had someone interested in me or if I was dating someone.

Don't get me wrong, I still hurt but I'm doing better and I no longer feel worthless. I know I'll find someone eventually who will want me to be his forever.

Thanks		  
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my mood...   
09:18pm 21/07/2008
  i know i haven't updated in a while and that's because life has been boring until tonight.

i went on myspace for the first time in a while and now it tells you when your friends update their shit so i was like "ok cool"

i see that my ex-boyfriend jeff has updated his profile...
Now Jeff, i am not going to lie...i loved him very very very much and i wanted to marry him but circumstances being what they were, we couldn't be together for a while...

well, he found a new girl and he's engaged...

ENGAGED

i just don't know how to feel

my chest hurts
my eyes want to cry
i can't breathe
i'm angry
upset
hurt
confused
feeling like nothing


why

why not me

whats wrong with me

maybe i don't want to know		  
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05:31pm 11/06/2008
  I'm going to the beach tomorrow!!

Let's see if I can avoid the 2nd degree sunburn that I got last time I went.

Should be interesting.		  
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11:08am 05/05/2008
  500 dollar special talent award for me?

hell fuckin yeah!!		  
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12:30am 12/04/2008
  boys confuse me  
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07:21pm 30/03/2008
  five days motha fuckas!  
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08:31pm 06/03/2008
  my cat had six cute little kittens :)  
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Here and Now   
11:12pm 07/02/2008
  I'm tired of being the chunky girl. Chunky girls stay single.

I have decided that I want to lose 15 pounds by my birthday. For those of you who don't know, my birthday is April 4th (yeah amber!) which leaves me, as of right now, a little less that 2 months. It can be done.

So, right now, as I'm sitting here typing this out, I am enjoying my LAST soda. That's right, no more. Just juice, water, and (i can't believe I'm saying this) milk.

Exercise will become my new habit.

No more eating crap all the time.

Sleep is necessary.

Then hopefully, chunky girl will go away.

Wish me luck!		  
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hmmm   
05:04pm 26/01/2008
  I think my cat might be pregnant

My cat found love and here I am, writing on my livejournal about my possibly pregnant cat.

I need chocolate or alcohol.

Or possibly both.		  
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you, sir, are an ass   
03:44pm 24/01/2008
 
mood: pissed off
fuck you asshole. you screwed me out of six days of work you coward

again...fuck you		  
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It's been a while   
08:03pm 08/01/2008
 
mood: complacent
music: fat ppl on tv
Hey there. I'm updating. Don't fall off your seats.
So I'm bored. And home with my mom. That should explain the reason for the update.

The past 5ish days I've been really really sick. I lost out on three days of work. I also lost 6 pounds in those 5 days. Not healthy. But I am a lot better now. Back to work.

Work has been ok. They actually were cool about the sick thing and they felt bad so they called me in today to give me a few hours since I missed out on a bunch. I was planning on cleaning my room today but I'd rather get paid for doing work. I have tomorrow off so I'll spend most of the day cleaning I guess.

I still have to pick my classes for the spring semester. I didn't fail any classes from the fall that I know of. I'm still missing 2 grades but for the most part I didn't fail. MIKE AND AMBER: I totally got a D- in Pat's class lol the woman couldn't fail me if she wanted. My last class with Bob he told me I'm slightly awkward with my body on stage so he suggested taking some dance classes and I might do that. Couldn't hurt, right? Plus I might lose some weight doing it. I'm all for looking good baby.

I'm technically not in any shows coming up. I mean, I'm the understudy for Antigone but that's a story I'd rather not talk about. I'm auditioning for Lenny's show. I hope I get into that. Would be really fun.

I'm Kevin Killavey's partner for ACTF. That's coming up. Should be a good time. I don't expect us to do anything fantastic and move on to nationals or anything but I am looking forward to the workshops and what not.

Been feeling really lonely lately. Seeing couples everywhere is really getting on my nerves. And the type of people who are in relationships, I'm like "how the fuck did you find someone to love you? you are the biggest bitch and liar and yet, here you are with someone to hold?" Life isn't fair sometimes.

Need to get out more. I miss some people and maybe that's why I'm kind of lonely. But everytime I want to hang out, people seem to hide or run away. Whatever.

Finally seeing EVAN tomorrow after not seeing her in like a month. I miss her to death.

Superbad soon mike?
Hairspray eric?
Movie night together?
More question marks?

So I think that's it for now. If I feel the need I'll update soon.

Later days		  
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05:41pm 24/10/2007
  i'm sorry  
     Post
 
Never The Sinner   
06:04pm 14/10/2007
 
mood: souped
music: pats game
So I auditioned for the school's growing stage production of Never The Sinner and...


I GOT THE PART I WANTED! lol I'm playing Crowe, a lawyer who wants to hang the two main characters.

It's a pretty big part so I'm souped! I got the phone call around 11 at night and i was so excited that I wanted to jump around and scream but everyone else in the house was asleep so I couldn't.

Rehearsals don't start until november but that's cool. I'm gonna be super busy with that and christmas carol. I'm almost off book for ACC though. I've got nothing better to do right now so I'll at least get off book for that and work on my accent (wow another show with an accent, go figure) then once we fit blocking in, it'll be good.

So this weekend has been amazing and I'm super happy. Friday night found out about Never The Sinner. Last night I went out and had some "fun" :) and today was a complete day off so I stayed in my pjs ALL DAY! awesome, yes?

Ok, well, I gotta go pick up my brother from work so I can come back and sit on my ass some more :)

Later Days		  
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disneyfreak13
 
 
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