Poor Unfortunate Soul

disneyfreak13 @ 2009-06-06T13:49:00

2009-06-06T17:49:21Z

One month today. I feel really lame that I'm about to go out and celebrate our one month anniversary. But ya know what? Fuck it. I'm happy. lol

<3

disneyfreak13 @ 2009-05-29T17:36:00

2009-05-29T21:37:58Z

So Brian and I have been together for almost a month and its amazing. We see each other almost everyday. We talk everyday. And I'm in love. I know that's really quick but I've had feelings for him for almost a year now and when it just feels right, does time really matter? I don't think it does.

I love him so much that I actually want to have a family. Like, me giving birth and the whole nine yards. I KNOW!!!

It scares me a little, but I am happy. Like, really really really really really really really really really really really really really happy.

:)

disneyfreak13 @ 2009-05-06T14:32:00

2009-05-06T18:32:41Z

I am extremely happy.

<3

And I know I'll be this way for a while :)

disneyfreak13 @ 2008-10-26T23:01:00

2008-10-27T03:05:57Z

let's talk about how when you left and moved back home you said that i was one of your dearest friends and that you didn't want to lose touch.

now let's talk about how you've come here for a visit 4 times and i only learned about the visits once you had gone back home. what the fuck is that about?

AND you hang out with the bitch that you complain to me about for an hour on the phone everytime we talk.

WHAT?!?!?!

I don't care that you missed my show cuz whatever. And I know we don't talk as much as we use to. But to just ignore that I'm even alive?!? what?!? And you aren't doing it to just me. Candice is being left out too. Except she got to actually see you because you both seemed to be at school at the same time.

I don't get it. The first couple of times I was like "Ok, maybe a lot of people are taking up his time and next time he'll call me like he said he would" NOPE.

Whatever.

GREASE!!!!!!!!

2008-09-26T12:29:16Z

ITS OPENING NIGHT OF GREASE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Come see the show!!

Or I will gut you like a fish!!!

Please :)

Not a survey

2008-08-19T01:44:35Z

I have not updated in a while because my life is basically the same thing over and over and over.

I go to work. I bitch and complain about how I hate people, customers, the morons I work with then I go home and complain to my parents about how I hate my job. Then I eat and if it is a Sunday, Tuesday, or Thursday night, I go to rehearsal. If it is any other night, I'm probably looking over my script, going over music, listening to the music or sitting on facebook. At rehearsal I go, act, dance (and almost die), and yes, I even sing. I have a great time. Sometimes we go out afterwards to the usual spots then I go home, go to bed, and start all over again.

It's quite boring. I've hit a bit of a rut. And even though school would add some sort of a different factor, it'll just get tidious like everything else. I feel like I didn't even really get a vacation. I'm getting stressed because all of these different people want different things from me but they want it all at the same time. I almost sat down and cried at work today. It's just hard.

There have been some fun little things that have happened. Like, meeting new friends because of Grease. And Katelyn and I went to New York to see Eric in Hairspray. I also auditioned for Trinity, Gamm, and Perishable. I have a callback for Perishable coming up on the 26th. I've gone to the movies with a few friends which was always fun. But other than that, its been just gray. Boring. Regular.

I have developed feelings for someone though. It's been a while since that has really happened. He makes me laugh and we seem to just get along. Nothing will happen, if it happens, until after Grease is over. But I'm not sure we're on the same page with what we want to happen. I'm afraid he'll just want the sexual aspect while I have genuine feelings for him. That's always the way though. Girls usually think with their hearts and guys think with their dicks. I've been single for 2 years now. It's been almost that long since I've been "close" to someone. I use to just want to get "close" to someone but now, I feel like I want and am ready for more than that.

I don't know. We'll see how things work out. I just felt like complaining for a bit. Thanks for reading, if you even did.

Because I can

2008-07-30T23:48:01Z

I'm kind of addicted to doing surveys lately...so deal with it

Has anyone told you lately that they would always be there for you?
- - YES

When you think about your first kiss, what does it remind you of?
- - HIGH SCHOOL

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
- -SHE CAN BE A LITTLE CRAZY AT TIMES

Who was the last person to call you?
- - MY COUSIN GEORGE.

Are you missing anyone?
- - A FEW PEOPLE ACTUALLY

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
- - MAYBE

What are your plans for this weekend?
- - I'M HOUSE SITTING, WORKING, DRINKING, AND REHEARSING

Kissed someone youd never seen prior to that in your life?
- -YUP

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
- - DEPENDS ON THE PERSON AND HOW IT IS USED

Whats irritating you right now?
- - HEAT...OTHER THAN THAT...NOTHING

Are you listening to music right now?
- - I WAS LISTENING TO WICKED, THEN I DECIDED TO STOP

What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
- - TEXTED MARK, MIKE, AND BRIAN

First time you kissed the last person you kissed?
- - OH GOD I CAN'T REMEMBER

Do you have a best friend?
- - I HAVE SEVERAL

What were you doing 8 this morning?
- - WORKING *GAG*

Have you ever passed out?
- - I'VE COME PRETTY CLOSE TO IS

Do you fall for people easily?
- - DEPENDS ON TEMPERATURE, HOW MUCH I'VE HAD TO DRINK, HOW STRESSFUL MY DAY WAS

When is the last time you saw number 1 on your top friends?
- - I LIVE WITH HIM

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
- - WE'LL PROBABLY END UP DOING IT AGAIN

How many clothes do you have in your closet?
- - I DON'T FEEL LIKE COUNTING

Right now do you want to kiss someone?
- - YES...BASTARD

Would you rather your partner have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?
- -EYES

Would you ever get a tattoo?
- - I HAVE 3 ALREADY

What's your mood?
- - BORED

Did you enjoy your weekend?
- - IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET

Do you like your first name?
- - ITS OK...A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE IT

Do you regret doing something this week?
- - NOT REGRET...JUST WISH I HAD WORKED UP THE COURAGE TO DO

Last bed you slept in?
- - MINE

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
- - I HAVE SEVERAL GUY/GIRL FRIENDSHIPS LIKE THAT

Where'd you get the shirt you're wearing?
- - ITS MY MIDDLE SCHOOL MARCHING BAND SHIRT

Sunrise or Sunset?
- - SUNSET

What time did you go to bed last night?
- - AROUND 1 I THINK

Time you woke up?
- - 6:10

What movie is in your DVD player?
- - THE PRODUCERS

When's your birthday?
- - APRIL 4TH

Last thing that pissed you off?
- - WORK

Are you cocky?
- - NAH

Can you speak french?
- - FUCK NO

Have you ever been to Mexico?
- -YES

Do you make your bed daily?
--THERE'S NO POINT

What did you have for breakfast yesterday?
-- NOTHING

Your favorite tv show?
- - GOLDEN GIRLS

Is there a tv in your room?
- -ITS A DISNEY TV

How many piercings do you have?
- -JUST MY EARS

What do you think of Tom Cruise?
- -HE'S A HOBBIT THAT WILL ATTACK YOU IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR THEATRE FACTS

Last two numbers in your phone number?
- - 38

Who was the last person you called?
- - AUNT CAROL

Where is your family from?
- -RHODE ISLAND

Feeling Better

2008-07-23T21:39:57Z

So after 48 hours of feeling like nothing, I've decided to try to move on.

It doesn't seem like that big of a deal that an ex of mine is getting married, and to ppl who don't know what we had I can understand.

When I found out, all the memories of us being together flooded back and I was trying to find the things that kept me from being that girl. We didn't break up cuz we hated each other, because someone cheated, or that we didn't feel the spark anymore. We were in love...but we needed a break for certain reasons and I thought we would eventually get back together.

I'm ok with it now. It just hurt more because of why we broke up and the fact that I've been single for 2 years now. I don't think I would have reacted as intensely if I actually had someone interested in me or if I was dating someone.

Don't get me wrong, I still hurt but I'm doing better and I no longer feel worthless. I know I'll find someone eventually who will want me to be his forever.

Thanks

my mood...

2008-07-22T01:21:34Z

i know i haven't updated in a while and that's because life has been boring until tonight.

i went on myspace for the first time in a while and now it tells you when your friends update their shit so i was like "ok cool"

i see that my ex-boyfriend jeff has updated his profile...
Now Jeff, i am not going to lie...i loved him very very very much and i wanted to marry him but circumstances being what they were, we couldn't be together for a while...

well, he found a new girl and he's engaged...

ENGAGED

i just don't know how to feel

my chest hurts
my eyes want to cry
i can't breathe
i'm angry
upset
hurt
confused
feeling like nothing

why

why not me

whats wrong with me

maybe i don't want to know

disneyfreak13 @ 2008-06-11T17:31:00

2008-06-11T21:32:21Z

I'm going to the beach tomorrow!!

Let's see if I can avoid the 2nd degree sunburn that I got last time I went.

Should be interesting.

disneyfreak13 @ 2008-05-05T11:08:00

2008-05-05T15:08:50Z

500 dollar special talent award for me?

hell fuckin yeah!!

disneyfreak13 @ 2008-04-12T00:30:00

2008-04-12T04:30:54Z

boys confuse me

disneyfreak13 @ 2008-03-30T19:21:00

2008-03-30T23:21:49Z

five days motha fuckas!

disneyfreak13 @ 2008-03-06T20:31:00

2008-03-07T01:31:50Z

my cat had six cute little kittens :)

Here and Now

2008-02-08T04:15:40Z

I'm tired of being the chunky girl. Chunky girls stay single.

I have decided that I want to lose 15 pounds by my birthday. For those of you who don't know, my birthday is April 4th (yeah amber!) which leaves me, as of right now, a little less that 2 months. It can be done.

So, right now, as I'm sitting here typing this out, I am enjoying my LAST soda. That's right, no more. Just juice, water, and (i can't believe I'm saying this) milk.

Exercise will become my new habit.

No more eating crap all the time.

Sleep is necessary.

Then hopefully, chunky girl will go away.

Wish me luck!

hmmm

2008-01-26T22:05:35Z

I think my cat might be pregnant

My cat found love and here I am, writing on my livejournal about my possibly pregnant cat.

I need chocolate or alcohol.

Or possibly both.

you, sir, are an ass

2008-01-24T20:45:02Z

fuck you asshole. you screwed me out of six days of work you coward

again...fuck you

It's been a while

2008-01-09T01:13:33Z

Hey there. I'm updating. Don't fall off your seats.
So I'm bored. And home with my mom. That should explain the reason for the update.

The past 5ish days I've been really really sick. I lost out on three days of work. I also lost 6 pounds in those 5 days. Not healthy. But I am a lot better now. Back to work.

Work has been ok. They actually were cool about the sick thing and they felt bad so they called me in today to give me a few hours since I missed out on a bunch. I was planning on cleaning my room today but I'd rather get paid for doing work. I have tomorrow off so I'll spend most of the day cleaning I guess.

I still have to pick my classes for the spring semester. I didn't fail any classes from the fall that I know of. I'm still missing 2 grades but for the most part I didn't fail. MIKE AND AMBER: I totally got a D- in Pat's class lol the woman couldn't fail me if she wanted. My last class with Bob he told me I'm slightly awkward with my body on stage so he suggested taking some dance classes and I might do that. Couldn't hurt, right? Plus I might lose some weight doing it. I'm all for looking good baby.

I'm technically not in any shows coming up. I mean, I'm the understudy for Antigone but that's a story I'd rather not talk about. I'm auditioning for Lenny's show. I hope I get into that. Would be really fun.

I'm Kevin Killavey's partner for ACTF. That's coming up. Should be a good time. I don't expect us to do anything fantastic and move on to nationals or anything but I am looking forward to the workshops and what not.

Been feeling really lonely lately. Seeing couples everywhere is really getting on my nerves. And the type of people who are in relationships, I'm like "how the fuck did you find someone to love you? you are the biggest bitch and liar and yet, here you are with someone to hold?" Life isn't fair sometimes.

Need to get out more. I miss some people and maybe that's why I'm kind of lonely. But everytime I want to hang out, people seem to hide or run away. Whatever.

Finally seeing EVAN tomorrow after not seeing her in like a month. I miss her to death.

Superbad soon mike?
Hairspray eric?
Movie night together?
More question marks?

So I think that's it for now. If I feel the need I'll update soon.

Later days

disneyfreak13 @ 2007-10-24T17:41:00

2007-10-24T21:41:03Z

i'm sorry

Never The Sinner

2007-10-14T22:08:49Z

So I auditioned for the school's growing stage production of Never The Sinner and...

I GOT THE PART I WANTED! lol I'm playing Crowe, a lawyer who wants to hang the two main characters.

It's a pretty big part so I'm souped! I got the phone call around 11 at night and i was so excited that I wanted to jump around and scream but everyone else in the house was asleep so I couldn't.

Rehearsals don't start until november but that's cool. I'm gonna be super busy with that and christmas carol. I'm almost off book for ACC though. I've got nothing better to do right now so I'll at least get off book for that and work on my accent (wow another show with an accent, go figure) then once we fit blocking in, it'll be good.

So this weekend has been amazing and I'm super happy. Friday night found out about Never The Sinner. Last night I went out and had some "fun" :) and today was a complete day off so I stayed in my pjs ALL DAY! awesome, yes?

Ok, well, I gotta go pick up my brother from work so I can come back and sit on my ass some more :)

Later Days

yes, i do have emotions

2007-10-02T02:49:30Z

Ok, so this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions for me.
the show was great. i got some positive feedback from fellow actors. that excites me because most of my classmates have never seen me perform before so when ppl kept saying positive things about my character and such it made me feel good.
but along with the good comes the bad. i cried 3 times this week. wednesday night after the show a few of us went out to dinner then on the ride home i cried. now that's a full half hour of crying. then thursday night on the ride home from kevin's i cried. then saturday night i cried in front of most of the cast. that's more crying i've done in the past week than i've done in about a year.
the reason is because my ex ryan now has a fuck buddy. that part i'm like whatever about cuz its about time he moves on. but the fuck buddy is a "friend" of mine, gianna. now this is the girl who told me she would never date any of her friends' exs. apparently hooking up is ok in her book. then she has the balls to text me one morning after sleeping over his house to tell me how great of a guy he is. i'm like wtf?!? normally i wouldn't really care but this boyfriend traumatized me. i haven't been with anyone since him and i'm afraid to physically be with someone because of what happened between us.
there's a lot more to explain my emotions but i don't want to make it 4 times in one week so i'll end it here.
good night

disneyfreak13 @ 2007-09-25T23:33:00

2007-09-26T03:33:25Z

COME SEE

YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU

wednesday
thursday
friday
saturday at 8

saturday
sunday at 2

forman theatre at RIC

$5 for students

COME SEE IT

i'm awesome

2007-09-06T01:07:47Z

so i totally faked sick today so i could leave work early. stupid jerks in the deli were being assholes to me for no reason so i faked a serious migraine and they sent me home. haha suckers!

saw superbad again last night *this makes four times*. saw it with eric and mike. it was super fun :) i love watching comedies with mike because he has a laugh that you can't resist laughing with him.

SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!! I'm so excited just because its something new and now my life won't be so freaking boring.

that's about it for now. i'll probably update tomorrow about my classes :)

disneyfreak13 @ 2007-08-29T19:29:00

2007-08-29T23:29:02Z

Superbad

go see it

i'm seeing it again tonight

DO IT

Long Entry

2007-08-24T02:01:39Z

So It's been a little while since I've updated. Got a lot to talk about.

-My sunburn is finally ok. Still peeling a little bit but hey, that's what ya get when you get second degree burns.
-Work is ok. This week I actually have 37 hours. It is quite awesome because I'll have plenty of money for school, but it sucks because my freedom before school is getting taken away.
-My Athenas business should be taking flight soon. I have to go to a party tomorrow night and watch. After I watch that I can start doing my own parties. I have a few people who have told me they are interested so we'll see.
-Family is ok. Mom's getting over a cold and dad is getting one. Taylor just got hired at Dave's so now 3 Dougans work there. lol. He'll be training with Jessical on his 2nd and 3rd days :) Poor boy doesn't have a clue what he's in for.
-I went on a date with this kid Dan (he wants to be called Danny but idk if i can) Mello. He's a really nice guy but ever since his car accident he's been kind of off. I don't know if I can see myself getting in a relationship with someone where I have to worry about him being a different person everyday. Plus, not going to lie, I still have feelings for Marcus. I think our time may have passed because I seem to be the person who is always like "i miss you" and blah blah blah. Marcus is in New Hampshire, btw. He won't be back until the first week of september I believe.
-I'm suppose to be off book for You Can't Take It With You by monday. So far that isn't working out too well. Everytime I try to sit down and get off book my brain just shuts down. It's weird getting off book before you have even gone through the scenes. I hope I get my lines and accent down before Monday. MOOSE AND SQUIRREL.
-Went and saw Eric do Schoolhouse Rock yesterday. It was one of the greatest theatre experiences I've had in a very long time. It was so much fun. I went with Mike and we had a good time. We got front row seats because *ahem* we are awesome. After that we went and got food, explored the Disney Store, I showed him my house, drove around Cumberland, went and bugged Eric, went to Dave's and then I think I took him home. It was a really great day. I forgot how much I missed hanging out with him. Hopefully we'll hang out more one school starts.
-Oh, Eric and Mike are directing A Christmas Carol for Encore this year. I'm slightly excited. I already told them that I plan on auditioning. Actually, I was going to audition for ACC no matter who directed it this year but the fact that they are doing it and its a chance to see them more is just an added bonus.
-I finally got to pick my classes. I want to see if I share any classes with people. (this mostly goes for eric, mike, and amber because all my classes are theatre classes this semester)
MONDAYS
1230-150 History of Theatre:1875 to the present
4-650 Auditioning Techniques
TUESDAYS
11-1220 Fundamental Theatre Design
2-350 Character Study: Psych Realism
WEDNESDAYS
none
THURSDAYS
11-1220 Fundamental Theatre Design
1230-150 History of Theatre:1875 to the present
2-350 Character Study: Psych Realism
4-650 Fundamentals of Directing
FRIDAYS
none

thursdays are going to kill me I can feel it. It's one class right after the other. I don't have time to stop and eat. I'm going to be cranky on thursdays haha

Well, I think that's it for now. I'm going to go eat something and relax. Maybe work on my lines. Later dayz